Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Since I was going to be the primary caretaker, I wondered if raising a child was going to fulfill me or would I regret career / financial opportunities. Since I'm only one month into this child rearing venture..I can't say for now. When friends who have kids gush about the joys of parenthood, I always thought ."are they crazy?" "they have to deal with a crying , expensive child..while I'm about to play tennis, then go shopping, then have cocktails with friends...fun!"
I did run across this article in the Huffington post..which just read my mind.
Anyways, I originally wanted to have just a small shower mostly inviting co-workers past and present. Eventually the party swelled in attendance, J started telling people in the neighborhood about our adoption and he ended up inviting several people. The party attendance was more than I expected but I was prepared. When we have parties or dinners at our house, I tend to cook more than I should. The thought of running out of food terrifies me! Plus I love the concept of leftovers. I usually prepare a particular dish forget about it , then never even end up serving it at the party. In the case of the baby shower, my Hors d'œuvre meatballs never made it to the party table. Oh well.
Anyways, the gifts from friends, co-workers and neighbors were overwhelming. Very thoughtful , imaginative. Its already been a couple days since the party and I've yet to open up half of the gifts.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I think it was more evident in Georgia, I could tell people were twisting their necks to get a good luck at the gay Dads coming down the street. I'm sure it doesn't affect J. That's what I love about him, he doesn't give a flying heck on what people think. I, on the other hand, have the opposite affect. I'm not sure if it was my upbringing or what, but it's something I struggle with till this day. Gay fathers aren't an anomaly anymore. There are so many examples in the media, celebrity culture, which makes it more palatable to the general public I guess. When I mentioned to my mother that I was adopting, I could sense the apprehension in her voice. She's in her 80s, and I'm sure she did not expect that her gay son would have children. Her first reservation was that J and I were too old! She does have a point, but I reminded her that Elton John who just adopted is in his 60's. In a bizarre way , it kind of made her feel better.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
For Those Thinking About Having Children
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Yahooo!!He's sleeping finally..and he's not on me!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Actually the last post regarding our stay in Atlanta referred to the time period of Jan 2nd to the 7th.
This past Sunday , we left Savannah and drove to the big city of Georgia...Atlanta! I've never spent much time in this city, only passing thru via the city's humongous airport.
We drove here because what else are we going to do in Georgia for 1-2 weeks?! Last Friday, our social worker called us to let us know that the Andrew's birthmother signed a legal document terminating her parental rights. Apparently , the lawyer then has to travel to Atlanta to file it in court. We are also waiting for inter-state compact documents to be filed so we can return back to Massachusetts. This process could take another week or so.
So we're stuck in Georgia, holed up in a Marriott Residence Inn with our newborn. It's kind of instant vacation ; in this case, we have a newborn and we're trying to figure him and ourselves out. Since we're in a new city, we are trying to get out and about doing stuff that we enjoy but with a newborn. We love to shop at outlets..so now I'm carrying a newborn in a baby carrier. We love history, museums...so we're sightseeing with a newborn.
People are amazed how small Andrew is or how young he is; he's one week old already. I'm looking at the expressions at their faces..wondering if they think we're crazy to take a newborn outside already. But our book...Baby 411 said it was ok...to take a newborn outside..so end of story.
So I'm sleep deprived, no surprise. I'm kind of a night owl myself. It's a bad habit of staying up late then trying to catch up throughout the week. However, with a newborn, this may not work out so well. Andrew is sleeping about 3-4 hours between feedings, changings.
Andrew had his first follow up pediatrician visit today. The doctor said feed him every 3hours. His advice regarding feedings was a little different than our resource books. We were a bit confused. Every 3 hours? what about feeding on demand? THis doctor was for scheduled feedings rather on demand.
Thats the problem with first time parenting. You're bombarded with advice from friends, family, doctors..all a little different with their own spin. Add some sleep deprivation ...then you're confused. For example, on facebook, I posted a comment that I was sleep deprived. A friend commented that I should try a teaspoon of rice cereal in the formula. Apparently it helps a baby sleep most of the night! My friend has two kids and it worked for both of them when they were infants.Another friend rebutted this suggestion. She said it was too many calories and this should only be used for infants with reflux. I'm tempted to follow this but I just don't want to mess up my baby boy's still developing GI system. I'm just gonna have to suck it up!
The bottom line is that Andrew added 10 ounces since birth. J is so proud of his son's "big appetite"!